Friday, January 18, 2013

GPS Takes Woman Driver On 1,800-mile Detour

When Sabine Moreau left home to pick her friend up from the train station, she estimated that the 38-mile trip would take her about an hour.

Unfortunately, the 67-year-old Belgian woman didn’t factor in the possibility of a malfunctioning GPS navigation system.

Rather than her intended destination of Brussels, Moreau found herself 900 miles away in Zagreb, Croatia – a two-day detour that took her through six different countries.

Despite seeing traffic signs in multiple languages, refueling several times, and crossing five European borders, Moreau did not stop to question her TomTom navigational system until she arrived in Zagreb.

"I saw all kinds of traffic signs. First in French, then in German - Cologne, Aachen, Frankfurt," she told a Belgium news website.

"But I didn't ask myself any questions. I was just distracted, so I kept my foot down," she added.

When Moreau failed to arrive at the train station to collect her friend, the hapless motorist’s son reported her missing.

Police searched her house and were on the verge of launching a full-scale manhunt when she phoned home to say she was in Zagreb.

Moreau then faced another 900-mile journey back to her home in Soire-sur-Sambre, Belgium, finally arriving 60 hours after she first set out.

A spokesman for police in Belgium told news sources: 'This is an incredible story.

'These GPS systems cause problems from time to time but nothing like this. But this woman has done nothing wrong and we just have to believe her.'

Some people just don’t know when to quit using Apple Maps…

"I guess I didn't read the signs properly..."


Monday, September 10, 2012

Irate Neighbor Posts Online Critique of Neighbors' Karaoke Session

When his neighbors decided to hold an impromptu karaoke session in the early hours of Sunday morning, Oli Beale decided that an angry knock on the door wasn't going to cut it.

Instead, the 33-year-old advertising creative from Hackney, London, chose the passive aggressive route.

Compiling notes on each ear-shattering performance, he pinned his assessment on the communal notice board at his block of converted warehouse-style flats and uploaded a photo to Twitter.

Beale's stinging observations, several of which would have made Simon Cowell proud, were immediately retweeted several hundred times.

Mr Beale wrote: “Your terrace faces 115 windows so you really did have the perfect stage.

“I’m sure you’re keen to hear our verdict.”

He went on to rank each of their songs out of 10, giving his neighbors’ rendition of Pinball Wizard just three out of 10 and branding it “terrible.”

The only performance to receive a modicum of praise was Elton John's Tiny Dancer, to which Beale commented, 

“I’ve always said it: if you’re going to be woken up after 2 hours’ sleep, it might as well be to a herd of morons screaming ‘Tiny Dancer’.”

Sometimes living on a remote farm in the Scottish Highlands doesn't seem like such a bad idea after all...

Click here for story

Friday, September 7, 2012

Scientists Develop Remote-Controlled Cockroaches

A team of researchers has created the ultimate spy technology...cyborg cockroaches.

Scientists from North Carolina State University have released a video showing how they are able to manipulate live roaches by attaching a tiny chip to the creatures' backs.

The remote micro-controller is wired directly into the bug's nervous system, enabling the researchers to direct the creature's movements via a series of electrical charges.

The research team hopes that the technology will ultimately be used to gather information from disaster zones and seek out survivors.

Either that or the cockroaches will be stolen by a Russian megalomaniac, fitted with giant laser beams, and used to take over the world.

Then we'll all be sorry we didn't listen to PETA...

Click here for story

"Giant laser beam? Check. Pocket explosives? Check. Alright chaps, we're going in..."

Sexting Sculpture Displayed in Family Park

A statue of a young woman 'sexting' a photo of her bare breasts in a family park is causing outrage amongst conservative groups.

The bronze sculpture is currently on display in the Overland Park Arboretum in Kansas City - an area popular with families and young children.

The American Family Association of Kansas and Missouri has branded the artwork obscene, and is demanding that the work, 'Accept and Reject' by Chinese sculptor Yu Chang, be removed.

The group has so far collected 4,700 signatures demanding the statue's expulsion from the park - more than enough to compel a judge to convene a grand jury to assess the situation.

We'll be sure to keep you abreast of the matter...

Click here for story

"And I'm driving without a seatbelt too..."

Quadruplet Schoolchildren Have Numbers Shaved Onto Heads

Unable to tell their own children apart, one couple has come up with an innovative way to assist teachers on the first day of school.

The Chaoyuns, from Shenzhen, China, took their six-year-old quadruplets to a local barber and had him shave numbers onto each of their heads.

Jiang Yunglong, Jiang Yun-Shao, Jiang Yunhan and Jiang Yunlin are now easily identifiable to their elementary school tutors.

Given China's one-child policy, we can only imagine how nervous numbers 2, 3, and 4 are feeling right now...

Click here for story

"You're all individuals..."

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Tourist Unwittingly Joins Search Party for Herself

When a tourist in Iceland heard that a member of her bus party had gone missing, she helpfully joined the search party.

The night-long operation, involving 50 people in the Eldgja volcanic region in south Iceland, was proving to be unsuccessful when the woman suddenly had a revelation...

She was searching for herself.

The woman had hopped off the bus to change her clothes on Saturday evening, and when she climbed back on again, her fellow travelers didn't recognize her.

When they raised the alert that an Asian woman of around 160cm who was wearing dark clothing and spoke English had gone missing, the woman failed to recognize her description and unwittingly joined the search party.

Eventually realizing what had happened, the woman informed police about the mix-up and the search was called off in the early hours of Sunday morning.


Click here for story

I know I'm around here somewhere...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Schoolboy Finds Rare Whale Vomit Worth $60,000

A schoolboy has found a chunk of whale vomit that could be worth up to $60,000.

Charlie Naysmith, 8, found the delightful souvenir while walking along a beach near Bournemouth, UK.

Whale sick, known as ambergris, is traditionally used by perfume makers to prolong the scent of perfume.

Its rarity means that it can fetch prices of up to $10,000 a pound.

Before you all start pouring your Chanel No. 5 down the toilet, you'll be pleased to learn that the substance is usually avoided by manufacturers because of its negative association with the whaling industry.

Guess the cosmetic industry finally developed a gill-ty conscience.

Click here for story

Whale, whale, whale, look what we have here...